Another Year Escapes My Grasp

More incoherent rambling. I'm now another year older. Although my emotional vacuousness allows me to stoically accept the gradual continued deterioration of my body and memory capacity, each year drifts by faster and faster. While it is logical that each year should seem to pass faster with each representing a smaller fraction of one's life, the rapid advance and changed perspective remain no less disconcerting. The only thing that is more disconcerting for me is the rapid growth of my daughter as I watch years slip away due to my ridiculous life circumstances. However, the present short term sacrifice should improve the balance of her life - hopefully making it worth it overall. We'll see. It's a calculated risk - maybe it won't be in vain. Although as our empire begins to fall, the outlook for her life could be more restrictive than I would like to imagine. Despite the present panic, I do expect this empire probably to survive until we are all old and crotchety (although KFR is already trying to reside there). While I personally have little problem with a collapse to anarchy, the truth is most people are sheep and they will not be able to handle the fallout. When this empire goes down, it will not raise the oppressed in the world, the poor will still be poor, a few rich will get sacrificed to the masses, most of the parasitic rich will find a new way to feed off of society, some newcomers will rise to prominent positions just to be corrupted by power and wealth like all that have preceded them, new ideologies will be promoted that will prove as vacant as the previous ones, a bloodbath will ensue to relieve some of the overpopulation pressure, and a new system will likely emerge to prove functional for awhile before it begins its devolution toward corruption. Such is the inevitable cycle of life. When this empire falls, humanity will sink into its cesspool default state for a time. Decadence must be purged through privation to reduce expectations, then the little pleasures in life can be appreciated once again - all hail strong drink, good food, and hedonistic sex. Unfortunately, most people that have been mollified by modern society need meaning and structure and cannot live in an abyss of anarchy. They will not be able to endure such changes and will simply become worthless piles of self-commiserating goo wishing for guarantees of safety and their prior enslavement to the old imperial order. The only way to avoid such a cruel fate and escape despair is to establish me as benevolent dictator for life so that I may rule with an iron fist and sage wisdom. My empire would be better - harsher, but alot more fun. I'm probably old enough now to meet the requisite age limit for the position. Just cross out president and just make sure to write me in on the ballot this November. When the election is stolen from me I will raise my forces to seize power. I'll fix congress through fatal proscription and replace them with my own brand of lackeys. They can't possibly be worse than what we have now. Rant done! Fine!

Attempting to Jumpstart my Brain

I'll try to get back into proper TIS form of barbaric simplicity over the next few days. Still having picture issues, but here is a relevant big club picture for this post.

After a very enjoyable, yet hectic, summer, I have spent the last few weeks actually trying to reassimilate Greek into my head in order to complete my Polybius paper from Spring Quarter. Finally, it is done and I can now start to look forward and prepare for a new quarter of teaching. The sections are twice as long as what I have done before, but I have considerable autonomy. Next week I have to try to get the students to digest Gilgamesh and the Law Code of Hammurabi. At least with Gilgamesh I get to debate the themes associated with the human condition under civilization versus a natural state of existence as essentially a wild beast - corruptive knowledge vs. blissful ignorance. We'll see which they think is better, and I will bring out the pitfalls of each side. Maybe, I'll extol the virtue of my barbaric big club political theory, but I doubt it.

In any case, I will get to elaborate on the insidious dangers and mollifying effects of love:

"for when he murmurs love to you the wild beasts that shared his life in the hills will reject him...as he lay on her murmuring love...For six days and seven night they lay together, for Enkidu had forgotten his home in the hills; but when he was satisfied he went back to the wild beasts. Then, when the wild creatures saw him they fled. Enkidu would have followed, but his body was bound as though with a cord, his knees gave way when he started to run, his swiftness was gone...; Enkidu was grown weak..." (The Coming of Enkidu: Epic of Gilgamesh) Love is false, Trust in Steel!

Being Worthless in the Valley

I've been relaxing in the mountains and spending time with Madaline since my return from Rome. Attended some large family functions, went to the Drive-In, wandered around the mountains, etc... . That has been wonderful, but my schedule has resulted in me falling way behind on my Polybius paper that had been extended from it's due date during my time in Italy. The course was the hardest I've ever taken and I still need to do well enough on this project. I've not been able to properly link my pictures from Picasa to this blog. I have at least 3000 pics. I haven't had time or the proper internet connection to deal with it. I forgot what I did before when I got the slideshow to link to this blog. I had trouble before because the link wouldn't paste right according to instructions and I can't recall how I fixed the problem earlier last spring. If anybody knows, send me an email. I'm completely broke until at least mid-Sept, so I'm not sure how the next month is going to go or if I can travel anywhere.

Madaline starts junior high in 8 days and I will be wrapped up in that and the local fair through Labor Day. I hope everyone else's summer is going well! I'll try to get at least a few pics operational. Be well!

Triumphal Return

After a grueling flight from Rome and some sleep in my own apartment, it feels good to be back stateside despite the great time I had in Italy over the last couple of months. The excavation went well although I was very busy and in a fairly remote area of the mountains of central Italy. I had a wonderful time my last week in Rome with lots of good company, food, and vino to go with the endless sites and museums I went through. My time in Naples and Pompeii was great also. I also actually really enjoyed some of the mid-sized Italian communities in the center of Italy like Sulmona, L'Aquila, Avezzano, and Rieti. These areas were not as blazing hot as Rome and had a more relaxed environment where you could connect with the local culture without all the tourists and craziness in Rome. I was in very high mountainous areas with lovely scenery and good weather to eat and drink at small establishments with friendly people. All in all a very good trip. I will not be able to drive to Oregon this next week as I have to get to see my daughter as quickly as possible following some meetings with faculty this week. I will likely be in Oregon until Sept 12th, and I will possibly try to visit during that time if I can work out transportation.

Off to the Heart of the Ancient Empire!

I leave in a half an hour for the flight to Rome. I am starting to amp up my repressed energy levels for this long awaited odyssey. Everything looks good to go. I will stay in communication via this blog as best I can, but we'll see how it goes. Be well and have a good summer! Ciao!!!

An End to the Quarter from Hell

I have basically concluded my Spring 08 quarter with the completion of my Greek translation final. It was a pretty difficult test, but it could have been worse. I performed respectably well in places, but the actual grading criteria are beyond brutal. In any case, it is done and I have to turn in the accompanying paper for this course in early September which should allow for a balancing out of the grading due to my ability to control the quality of the paper. My primary advisor is very happy with my progress and that is what counts the most. Anyway, I would not want to have to many quarters like this one. The final was further complicated by a minor sinus surgery that was performed on me Friday afternoon to repair some tissue that was damaged when I was exposed to some nasty stuff in the desert sands half-way around the world. They cut a calloused piece of tissue out that had been singed and healed in a less than optimal way. Apparently it is this area that has been collecting material around it that contributes to recurrent sinus infections. The cleaner air in Oregon likely made the problem less of an issue, but here it became more troublesome - I shake my fist at the vile entity that is smog! In any case, the surgery led to 3 days of migraines right before I took the worst final of my life. At least it looks like I survived. I fly back to see my daughter at 6am tomorrow before my departure to Italy on Monday. My family is doing well enough, but I have to have my daughter's birthday party early because of my schedule this summer. She at least gets one early, but it is not optimal. It will be good to see my daughter, the rest is relatively meaningless. Up through this weekend, despite the surgery, I was still attempting to integrate my schedule for dating. I even had a brunch date, which I hadn't done in years, - it seemed to go well, but I simply can't juggle to many things at once. At least I have a myriad of foundations in place for when I return from Italy and despite my inability to drink lately I've resurrected enough charm to be respectably appealing. Unfortunately, charm takes more energy than I would like. Maybe I can seem charming to the Italian ladies this summer as I will be feeling much better. Ciao!

If I Fall to the Flames - It Will be Defiantly

The oppressive nature of my academic situation continues to drive colleagues away. The requirements placed upon people in my field now run at close to 700% of my previous academic situation. The person I knew from UO when I was recruited here last year was forced to take a leave of absence to realign her life before I even arrived here this past fall. I think it unlikely she will return to continue her program here despite the fact she was awarded a very prestigious package to continue - she declined it last year and left school. The person who was admitted with me was forced to withdraw this quarter and I don't know if she will be back in the future to continue. This is easily the worst quarter of my life for a variety of reasons but mostly because of endless hours of Greek translation that don't relent or allow for significant progression. Even though Latin is my most important language, and is difficult in it's own right, the Greek requirements here are something else entirely, akin to being tortured in the deepest bowels of hell. Up to this point, despite extreme difficulty, I have passed through my history classes with the absolute highest of marks. My situation with my advisor is ideal, but the obstacles placed in front of me by other scholars here are very formidable. I am improving, but the progression lies on a razor's edge. It is not necessarily likely I can pass the final in my current history seminar because it is purely Greek translation of multiple passages of Polybius drawn randomly from the 88 chapters of book 1. There are no aids whatsoever and the grading criteria is absolutely brutal. Even if I had a dictionary, it would be beyond formidable because of the nuances the instructor expects. Of the 4 people remaining in the class, I have the least amount of Greek by at least 2 years. All of the others are ABD or soon to be. It is entirely likely I will outright fai the final and I don't know if it will be close enough to pass the class with the B- or higher required when the paper and participation are figured in. I can't drop at this time without causing other problems and if I get lower than a B- in this course, my future job prospects and reference support could be compromised. Consequently, I may not be able to justify continuing this trek for 4 more years, even if I were allowed to, because it would be hard for me to continue to be willing to endure the time away from my daughter if the dubious nature of future job prospects became even more corrupted. I have eliminated my Italian course this week to provide more time for taking this final, but I don't like my last few years of academic life coming down to one test in a single course. If I get by this, I will be fine by the time my QE's are taken. I've got 11 days to prepare, but it wouldn't matter if it were ten more weeks - that's how screwy the situation is. In any case - wish me luck! If I flail, I will still fade to oblivion very defiantly. Hopefully, I will not be the latest casualty of many, but we'll see. In my field, I am wading at a level here well beyond my prior school - it's not even in the same realm. This was the reason I was sent here, but it's hard to gamble as many years as I have invested on this situation.