Being Worthless in the Valley

I've been relaxing in the mountains and spending time with Madaline since my return from Rome. Attended some large family functions, went to the Drive-In, wandered around the mountains, etc... . That has been wonderful, but my schedule has resulted in me falling way behind on my Polybius paper that had been extended from it's due date during my time in Italy. The course was the hardest I've ever taken and I still need to do well enough on this project. I've not been able to properly link my pictures from Picasa to this blog. I have at least 3000 pics. I haven't had time or the proper internet connection to deal with it. I forgot what I did before when I got the slideshow to link to this blog. I had trouble before because the link wouldn't paste right according to instructions and I can't recall how I fixed the problem earlier last spring. If anybody knows, send me an email. I'm completely broke until at least mid-Sept, so I'm not sure how the next month is going to go or if I can travel anywhere.

Madaline starts junior high in 8 days and I will be wrapped up in that and the local fair through Labor Day. I hope everyone else's summer is going well! I'll try to get at least a few pics operational. Be well!

Triumphal Return

After a grueling flight from Rome and some sleep in my own apartment, it feels good to be back stateside despite the great time I had in Italy over the last couple of months. The excavation went well although I was very busy and in a fairly remote area of the mountains of central Italy. I had a wonderful time my last week in Rome with lots of good company, food, and vino to go with the endless sites and museums I went through. My time in Naples and Pompeii was great also. I also actually really enjoyed some of the mid-sized Italian communities in the center of Italy like Sulmona, L'Aquila, Avezzano, and Rieti. These areas were not as blazing hot as Rome and had a more relaxed environment where you could connect with the local culture without all the tourists and craziness in Rome. I was in very high mountainous areas with lovely scenery and good weather to eat and drink at small establishments with friendly people. All in all a very good trip. I will not be able to drive to Oregon this next week as I have to get to see my daughter as quickly as possible following some meetings with faculty this week. I will likely be in Oregon until Sept 12th, and I will possibly try to visit during that time if I can work out transportation.

Off to the Heart of the Ancient Empire!

I leave in a half an hour for the flight to Rome. I am starting to amp up my repressed energy levels for this long awaited odyssey. Everything looks good to go. I will stay in communication via this blog as best I can, but we'll see how it goes. Be well and have a good summer! Ciao!!!

An End to the Quarter from Hell

I have basically concluded my Spring 08 quarter with the completion of my Greek translation final. It was a pretty difficult test, but it could have been worse. I performed respectably well in places, but the actual grading criteria are beyond brutal. In any case, it is done and I have to turn in the accompanying paper for this course in early September which should allow for a balancing out of the grading due to my ability to control the quality of the paper. My primary advisor is very happy with my progress and that is what counts the most. Anyway, I would not want to have to many quarters like this one. The final was further complicated by a minor sinus surgery that was performed on me Friday afternoon to repair some tissue that was damaged when I was exposed to some nasty stuff in the desert sands half-way around the world. They cut a calloused piece of tissue out that had been singed and healed in a less than optimal way. Apparently it is this area that has been collecting material around it that contributes to recurrent sinus infections. The cleaner air in Oregon likely made the problem less of an issue, but here it became more troublesome - I shake my fist at the vile entity that is smog! In any case, the surgery led to 3 days of migraines right before I took the worst final of my life. At least it looks like I survived. I fly back to see my daughter at 6am tomorrow before my departure to Italy on Monday. My family is doing well enough, but I have to have my daughter's birthday party early because of my schedule this summer. She at least gets one early, but it is not optimal. It will be good to see my daughter, the rest is relatively meaningless. Up through this weekend, despite the surgery, I was still attempting to integrate my schedule for dating. I even had a brunch date, which I hadn't done in years, - it seemed to go well, but I simply can't juggle to many things at once. At least I have a myriad of foundations in place for when I return from Italy and despite my inability to drink lately I've resurrected enough charm to be respectably appealing. Unfortunately, charm takes more energy than I would like. Maybe I can seem charming to the Italian ladies this summer as I will be feeling much better. Ciao!

If I Fall to the Flames - It Will be Defiantly

The oppressive nature of my academic situation continues to drive colleagues away. The requirements placed upon people in my field now run at close to 700% of my previous academic situation. The person I knew from UO when I was recruited here last year was forced to take a leave of absence to realign her life before I even arrived here this past fall. I think it unlikely she will return to continue her program here despite the fact she was awarded a very prestigious package to continue - she declined it last year and left school. The person who was admitted with me was forced to withdraw this quarter and I don't know if she will be back in the future to continue. This is easily the worst quarter of my life for a variety of reasons but mostly because of endless hours of Greek translation that don't relent or allow for significant progression. Even though Latin is my most important language, and is difficult in it's own right, the Greek requirements here are something else entirely, akin to being tortured in the deepest bowels of hell. Up to this point, despite extreme difficulty, I have passed through my history classes with the absolute highest of marks. My situation with my advisor is ideal, but the obstacles placed in front of me by other scholars here are very formidable. I am improving, but the progression lies on a razor's edge. It is not necessarily likely I can pass the final in my current history seminar because it is purely Greek translation of multiple passages of Polybius drawn randomly from the 88 chapters of book 1. There are no aids whatsoever and the grading criteria is absolutely brutal. Even if I had a dictionary, it would be beyond formidable because of the nuances the instructor expects. Of the 4 people remaining in the class, I have the least amount of Greek by at least 2 years. All of the others are ABD or soon to be. It is entirely likely I will outright fai the final and I don't know if it will be close enough to pass the class with the B- or higher required when the paper and participation are figured in. I can't drop at this time without causing other problems and if I get lower than a B- in this course, my future job prospects and reference support could be compromised. Consequently, I may not be able to justify continuing this trek for 4 more years, even if I were allowed to, because it would be hard for me to continue to be willing to endure the time away from my daughter if the dubious nature of future job prospects became even more corrupted. I have eliminated my Italian course this week to provide more time for taking this final, but I don't like my last few years of academic life coming down to one test in a single course. If I get by this, I will be fine by the time my QE's are taken. I've got 11 days to prepare, but it wouldn't matter if it were ten more weeks - that's how screwy the situation is. In any case - wish me luck! If I flail, I will still fade to oblivion very defiantly. Hopefully, I will not be the latest casualty of many, but we'll see. In my field, I am wading at a level here well beyond my prior school - it's not even in the same realm. This was the reason I was sent here, but it's hard to gamble as many years as I have invested on this situation.

End of Quarter Near

Disclaimer: Elements in this fatigued and incoherently brutal rant are designed to tweak all you commies that just won't let go - sometimes I just like to be deliberately contrary, very politically incorrect, and generally insensitive. I'll go back to my default fuzzy and warm-hearted persona when I feel a bit better. I'm presently embracing darkness as an old friend; so read on at your own peril, or wait till my next post. The most miserable quarter of my life is approaching an end. If all quarters were like this one, I would not continue down this torturous path. I knew all along this would be my worst quarter, but I hoped it would go better than this. At least I'm within 3 weeks of Italy - I'm simply holding on til I can decompress my brain for the summer. I did go to the Indiana Jones midnight premiere across the street from my house because I couldn't sleep anyway and I thought I could get in an archaeological mood. All throughout the evening there were rogue packs of drunk sorority she-wolves howling the Indy theme song at the top of their lungs up and down the streets, so I felt unable to concentrate and justified abandoning my Greek at 11:30pm to go to the movie. Very convenient! I set my expectations as low as possible for the movie because nothing can ever live up to seeing the original when I was ten years old and still embraced hope and optimism in life. In this new movie, I didn't like the 50's motif and Stalinist Commies in film never make as formidable bad guys as the Nazi's do, although I always like Cate Blanchett in any role. Nazi's are always representative of an earthly manifestation of pure evil that is oppressively efficient and aristocratic in ways that posed a tangible threat to western notions of individual liberty. A concrete threat that had to be opposed at all costs. Commies tend to viewed as mindless promoters of a misguided ideology of unrealistic visions that exploited the desires of largely servile societies accustomed to being dominated by central authorities, essentially a bunch of lowly peasants that knew nothing but allowing themselves to be dominated. It is better to die than to be such an abject creature subservient to the state. Commies were never a threat to succeed over the long haul. Sorry to all you people out there who take commies seriously in any way, either on the far left as fans or the far right as 'Red Scare' mongers, but I'm much too concerned with the pursuit of self-agrandizing valor and glory from the vanquishment of a formidable enemy to give any credence to such an unworthy adversary, especially one so rooted in the base consciousness of the lowly peasantry. I remain much too narcissistic and elitist to validate commies as any real threat to western civilization - their movements tend to devolve into the eating of their own as in the Maoist and Stalinist examples, and they represent tragic, yet ultimately meaningless, exercises in population control of the vulgar throng. Thus, these commies and their ideologies are best resigned to the dustbin of history, a closet where you lock up the ugly and deformed step-child to avoid shame being conferred on the rest of the family. I pretty much feel the same way about inappropriate attempts to revive Marxist historiographical methodology in academia. Sorry friends, sometimes you just have to let it go when it dies and starts to decompose! Some applications of it can work in certain circumstances, but many are anachronistic projections. Anytime a scholar attempts to impose it on my field it invariably proves to be an absolute disaster, but you'd be surprised at the amount of articles in the last few decades that have tried. In any case, enough on the unworthy nature of villainous commies. Forgive the digression! Back to the film! The movie includes some nostalgic moments of proper Indy fare, but was doomed from inception to be unable to measure up to it's own iconic standards. With that said, I'm sure I will see it many times with my daughter over the years to come and it provided a much needed distraction from school. On a similar note, I have confirmed that a new Conan movie is in production at Lionsgate with a reported $100million budget. They did not consult me on the script, so I'm sure I will have to bring down the wrath of Crom on them if they screw this up too bad. I unabashedly state I could write the best script for Conan, one true to original vision, if only I had the right connections. I don't know who they are going to get to play the new Conan with the Gubernator being too old and physically deteriorated for this role, as he was always his most effective as an actor when he played a cyborg or a barely evolved human. Such was his wheelhouse. I hope whoever they get doesn't piss me off too much. I'll let this rant end now - Fine!

A Much Needed Dinner Party

Disclaimer: Here's a largely incoherent rant on a variety of topics. It lacks proper focus or methodology. Forgive me - I am tired! Following my torturous sleep study experience, I've been told my sinus issues and the perpetual physical and emotional pain my mind has been consciously blocking out for years may be manifesting in ways that disrupt my sleep patterns. After being hooked up to over 100 wires Monday night, I woke up partially paralyzed and with severe back pain at 4am from not properly repositioning my back in the night due to the feeling of ensnarement associated with the wires and the lousy bed. The experience ruined my entire day and I bombed an Italian quiz and couldn't concentrate during my Greek seminar. After sleeping better Tuesday night I was able to attend a good dinner party last night at my adviser's house for a friend of mine who will receive his PhD in a couple of weeks before going off to a tenure track job in Denver. They had him here 7 years after he came in with an MA. I played the political game at dinner pretty well, and spent alot of time conversing with the adviser of my adviser at UO who has been teaching at this school since the 50's. He even taught this fall for one quarter, and I hope my mind holds up half as well after that many years. In any case, I heard alot of good stories and had a very good evening. Although, the brain power in the room displayed by the 6 Profs in attendance made me feel intellectual deficient. I very rarely feel that way in any circumstance, but it sometimes happens. I think most view me favorably- at least I hope so! If I could get the medical people to help me get a bit more focus and brain capacity I should be fine. I'm in a weird hybrid situation where I do exceptional on the history side of things in my home department, and I do alright with my archaeology and somewhat well with my Classics courses. The History Dept has a very good dynamic that is very great to work in, but the Classics program I am required to work in has a much more cutthroat dynamic of deliberate attrition and competition - and these people usually specialize in philological analysis. I employ a wider approach in my historiography, which has many advantages, but I have a built in philological disadvantage because I'm not as narrowly specialized. Therefore, when I have to take courses in their departments I'm not on equal footing, while these students very rarely look to engage in historically themed courses. I'm all for overt competition when it is of the martial combat variety because the validity of the superiority of the victor is obvious and validated by the killing and/or subjugation of the shamed opponent. When might makes right, as it often does because morality tends to be a justified construct of delusional self-righteousness, argument over the nuances is meaningless. The subjective nature of intellectual valuation and combat I find to be inaccurate in many cases. Some people that do certain philological tasks often allow arguments to become lost in a quagmire of literary analysis, or they are so hyper-specialized they are completely irrelevant in any practical way. I sometimes think I come across this when dealing with certain elements I find in other departments and certain sub-fields in history. My field of Ancient History is a hybrid field that will require me to be able to function in a wide variety of other departments. Unfortunately, this dynamic may slow my progression and the timing of my completion, if they don't toss me out with the over 50% that don't make it, as I address the requirements and approaches in other departments. This may cost me a shot at possible job openings I would be well-positioned to pursue. I'm trying to get done in 4-5, but it may not be possible because of the external departments I have to deal with. Now, I must return to Greek translation. That is all!